Time to write a new chapter of revolutionary confidence (and creativity)

Give credit to Brittany Packnett Cunningham and her Ted Talk, which can be watched here.

I signed up for the TED Talk newsletter (I think they send it almost every 3 days), and one day it recommended this brilliant talk by Brittany on revolutionary confidence, which changed the way I showed up at work and life, for the better.

Just a disclaimer that I intended to write this blog post right after I'm so inspired by what I can achieve, but too bad my procrastination brain tells me to close the laptop and go to sleep. So… here I am, finally giving it a try.

When I looked back at this blog with just the title, I was literally dumbfounded and like, "Um, excuse me, what is revolutionary confidence?" And it is not like I didn't learn anything from the video, that I even came up with this question. I just incorporated it into my life and mindset so much that I forgot the root of the idea/ source. So this is the definition I can think of if I don't rewatch the video:

"I think something about having a community makes the confidence boost happen more easily? Secondly,... YES YES YES, BIG ONE for permission, I give myself the permission to be confident, to not be afraid that I'm taking space, and to remain calm, not defensive every time I see the bigger person. A strong belief in your abilities."

And once your confidence is not being challenged every time new ideas arise, that gives so much space for the creativity to take over the throne, and you are sort of undefeatable, you welcome the idea no matter how stupid it is, because of a firm belief that I can do it, and do it one step at a time. Your constant negative talk of "I'm not good enough to do this" is being shushed away, and you give yourself the permission to fall on that idea, no matter if it is stupid or genius, and take a step back, learn from the fall, the success, stand up and chase new ideas.

You allow yourself to fail.

And when you fail, you don’t immediately think, “I’m weak” or “I’m not capable.” You step back and think: maybe I didn’t plan clearly, maybe I was too ambitious, maybe I need to build more skills. Failure becomes information, not identity.

That shift is everything.

This all sounds tremendously out of grasp I know. I still struggle with it, to be honest. You cannot simply tell your brain to stop getting defensive and think more positively. It takes practice and somewhat delusional (lol).

The challenge is: I'm always scared of failure, I don't have what it takes to make it to the end. I don't want to set foot on a journey without knowing the outcome (ridiculous, I know, you will never know the outcome unless you walk the path). I worry about what people think — whether they’re judging me, dismissing me, or trying to bring me down.

So here's what I do:

• Tell myself nice things out loud, talking in front of a mirror, my new routine every morning now. You have to love yourself internally to love externally, or something along those lines of: "From the outside, appearance, your skin looks good today because you sleep early, you look healthy because you are on a toned muscle plan, and soon you will even look better, all shaped up. From the inside, you're a caring person; you treat your loved one with kindness and love. You're smart, hard working, you set out many goals, but I believe you can follow them through the end, you may fall, but you will stand up and keep walking, you won't stop there."

• Someone give me some feedback or comment, I try to reframe it. "Oh, so they think what I did can be improved. So what I did is A, and their recommendation is B. It does make sense, I will try the B way and see how it goes. They just wanted to point out my mistake or help me grow; I never knew. But I know that the B way will help me, so I will slow down, reflect and act." - It is never about you, if you let yourself believe it that way.

I hope everyone can be a little gentle to themselves today, and allow yourself the space to breathe, try, and fall. Stand up and try again. We can all treat life as an exciting adventure to wake up to every day, or life is always waiting to beat you to a pulp; it is your choice. But I call out to everyone to start being your best friend, and every year, I need to remind myself of this again and again, because sometimes, I am my biggest enemy.

Go live your adventure!