Zeze: the bird won't sing from My Sweet Orange Tree

Haha… Well, yep, 2 p.m. already and here I am, could not sleep because I have anxiety about finding a job that I, for god know when, will figure out what I wanna do with my life lol, and… "Suy quá man". Finish this "children's book" they said, about 2 hours ago, My Sweet Orange Tree, that made me cry like a baby at my bus stop this afternoon.

So welcome to my first-ever book review in English because I always wanted to do this 😆

(well, not in English of course, my Vietnamese would be so much nicer. But since I read this in English, maybe what I want to convey here will be more concise.)

Anyway, I will make a promise to myself to buy this book in Vietnamese, I want to cry again but in my mother language. Man, if I was reading it in Vietnamese, I would flood my whole smol room now :) One more thing, if I read the book again I will certainly bring a pen with me, I forgot to take notes this time haha

Warning: SPOILER AHEAD!

The overall view of the topic: upbringing of a child is very important

I have always been fascinated with how a person can be shaped into whatever they will be in the first few years of their life. After that, it will be difficult to change a person's personality and perspective. And to me, that 5 years of Zeze had been completely ruined under the poverty, the mistreatment of other siblings, and the lack of affirmation from his parents. If I met Zeze in real life, I would hate him definitely since I have always been a well-behaved child and I don't like kids who are so mischievous and naughty and swear a lot like him (although I also swear more often when I grow up). But a large part of me is so envious of him, of that bravery when he could do what he wanted to when that "devil child" told him to. I wish I could have a small portion of it when I make decisions in my life haha :P

And how can I blame him for being like that when he was brought up in that kind of family? The dad only knew how to put the anger in their "herd" of children (I have to use this word since there were too many children in this house for god sake, to the point they had to sell their child before). But we can see how Zeze changed when he was with his teacher, or "his friend" I would love to call him the real father that Zeze deserve to have, Portuga.

How the world can be so full of imagination and creativity under the "near-perfect child's-eye view of life"

(I took this from the cover because I like how they use the word here)

Another thing worth mentioning here is the "near-perfect" word, why is it not perfect, he sang with the bird, he talked to the tree, and the author hid so well at first how his life was just the ordinary life of a kid. I admire Zeze for keeping that imagination with him for so long but still this cruel world, poverty slowly stole it away. Such a very understanding child, that even an old person like Portuga has to be shocked hearing what he said about his family condition, his eyes hid emotion from Zeze like he was afraid Zeze would understand, he treated him with such kindness and tender he was afraid he can break this little child into pieces, with all the cracked in his body, his back, below the clothes. He is indeed the most beautiful porcelain to me.

'Goodness me! How can such a young child understand and worry about grown-up problems like that? I've never seen anything like it."

Zeze: the child with a baby Jesus heart, not the devil child

I have never met a child that yearned for love and could be so naughty at the same time as him, a very sensitive child as Gloria described him. With all the mischievousness that he could think of, even I have to be most surprised with the degree of those pranks. He always got beaten so hard after that and scolded with such harsh words. That is a little kid of 5 years old had the idea that while every kid out there had been born a Baby Jesus in their heart, every Christmas night a devil child was being born in Zeze heart instead. To the point he thought being born in this world was from the start, a mistake.

But what kind of devil can see all the darkness, the pain, the emptiness, the hopelessness in his parents' eyes each night when the dark falls below, darkening the dining table and the only source of food that they had, a tasteless soup? That devil at Christmas still going out in the cold, shining shoes for a few tomatoes to buy for his dad a small gift, and go in search of love that is so desperate like him cause, devil no need love, right? Which devil can sing like a bird in the cage of poverty with such a limpid voice, even though he didn't understand all those lyrics mean but only of the good rhythm. I don't think that the act of the devil, but only of baby Jesus like every kid was, that baby was raised under the tenderness of Gloria, Portuga, Selvica, Totoca, the teacher and the people when he was dead sick. Which what he should be treated from the start, not from when he was nearly dead. But under a society like that, hardly that ever comes true.

I think his childish of him has protected him under all the hardship, the sweet orange tree, the guardian of Zeze's childhood, the symbol of his purity, from the bird inside him turns into a tree. Such a wonder of a child, and I never wish to see that disappear so soon in any child I meet.

Father and dead definition

There were two times that Zeze wanted to kill someone, the first time he wanted to kill Portuga, like actually kill him by putting a gun in that guy's head. The second time was his dad,

"I'm going to kill him."

"You are going to kill your father?"

"Yep. I already started, killing him doesn't mean grabbing Buck Jones's revolver and banging! That's not it. You can kill someone in your heart. Stop loving them. And one day they die."

Yes, there are so many things I still want to write about but I'm quite sick now. UK's weather in November is terrible, and what, storms? (tsk complaining about weather, classic). But would be nice to talk about The flower and the goodbye, Tenderness, The pain, The throw-up, maybe I will leave it for when I re-read this in Vietnamese.